Sunday, March 7, 2010

If a key opens a lot of locks...

There’s a phrase traveling around the internet that goes like this:

“If a key opens a lot of locks, then it’s the master key. If a lock is opened by a lot of keys, then it’s a shitty lock.”

This was written in response to someone questioning why men are seemingly encouraged to sleep with as many women as possible and are commended for it, and why women are looked down upon and seen as “dirty” and “slutty” if they do the same things even to the minutest degree. The question is basically this:

“Why is a girl a slut if she kisses two guys, but a guy a legend if he bangs five girls?”

The first phrase was someone’s “brilliant” reply to that question; the “master key” and “shitty lock” analogy. That’s not “brilliant”, that’s an irrelevant and degrading comparison that frankly I find to be bullshit.

This key-lock analogy rests on the idea that women should be sexually exclusive and that their value is determined by whether or not they adhere to this. I reject this. When you are single, you are free to do whatever you want. I don’t care; both a men and a women can sleep with as many people as they like (provided they are single, or in a ‘non-exclusive relationship.’) I will not consider the man to be “a legend” if he sleeps with a different woman every night, and my opinion of him shall be the same of a woman who does the same. (What’s so legendary about sleeping with a bunch of people? I’m not really impressed by that feat. You’re popular at a bar or can afford a different whore every night; so what?) Like I said, you can do whatever you want, but making an excessive practice of sleeping with different people isn’t exactly commendable in my book. People need to have a sense of moderation and restraint, and I’ve yet to meet a responsible person who makes a habit out of sleeping with four different people every month. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with such a person; I’d have a hard time believing that their lack of responsibility wouldn’t carry over into other areas of life. They just don’t seem like the most responsible of people…

(I’m not rejecting anything based off of some certain idea of value that I do or do not place on chastity/virginity; I’m just concerned about the implications of what sleeping with a different person all the time means about your responsibility and maturity as an adult.)

Keys and locks aren’t like people. The key-lock comparison just happens to work because of the physical comparison; keys are inserted into locks and they were meant to fit like that, (and I’m sure you know how that translates anatomically.) That’s just it though, it only makes sense physically, and only to a certain extent. Locks are designed to only fit one key, and as we all know, women do not “work” like that. Every human “lock” fits every human “key” and vice versa; applied to real locks and keys, this would render them useless. Any person in the world can copulate with anyone else; however as I have already said: any key in the world cannot fit into every lock in the world, and any lock in the world will not work for every key.

The human element is missing, and that’s why the analogy doesn’t work without ascribing to the idea that women have to be sexually exclusive, and even then it only makes sense on the thin surface.

I don’t have respect for your “master key” nor for the lock that is opened by all keys. In my opinion, you can throw them both out if you like, and that's that.

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  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Being that all a man needs to be attracted to a woman is to see her and it takes about 5 seconds; while a woman needs to find personality traits that a man has and takes longer to find him attractive, there-in lies the source. A man bears no risk from having sex, sans the concern for health. A woman however, bears the risk of 9 months and an altered lifestyle for making a mistake if she sleeps with a man that leaves her and her child. Morally and ethically, I want to believe what you are saying is true, but on the basis of evolutionary psychology I think it's just wishful thinking.

    1. 1)You speak as if a pregnancy only affects women, sure the guy can run away, but he will still be forced to pay child support for the child, so it affects him too ( nothing like a paternity test to do that.
      2) Pregnancies can be prevented by the use of: condoms, pill and if all fails..abortion. so the double standard is still sexist!

      i know this is a old comment, by i can't resist slut shaming!

  3. Yes; if it wasn't this joke wouldn't be around in the first place.

  4. Yeah, I cringe when I hear that joke because I know there is genuine belief in the concept. I agree with you, but I just tell them, "Women make bad locks, but guys make great tools."

  5. I guess I just don't see the harm in it. I stumbled upon that joke with a graphic of a vintage lock and key set, laughed and moved on. At the end of the day I'm still in a monogamous relationship (and enjoy it that way). Although now I suppose I should admit that I only came across this site while looking for that graphic to send to a friend, but I thought it was an interesting read.

    Yes, there are plenty of guys who do believe the goal is to sleep with as many women as possible, but I would think you'd be thankful they boast about it, so you can identify them as unsuitable more quickly.

    Just my two cents I guess. Have a good day

  6. Who's to say the woman isn't the master key and the guy's the crappy lock?? Sleeping around is stupid for both genders. STDs don't care if you're male or female.